.
[when the lights go out by the black keys]
♪
- Let's go. - Yep.
♪
- ♪ don't it hurt so bad
♪ standin' in the sun?
- What the hell?
Yo, dog... Is it snowing?
- Sound the alarm!
Out of the yard!
Get everybody inside now!
[alarm blaring]
[overlapping shouting]
- It's a very unique prison break.
- Could an artifact cause mantle displacement
Or--I don't know-- spontaneous volcanoes?
- Of course. That's why I hate volcanoes.
They leave behind intense emotions.
- Oh, that's why you hate volcanoes.
- You know, Pete thinks it's the giant lava monster
Escaped from the earth's core.
- He thinks that, or he's hoping?
Just send me a sample to analyze.
I'll run through the database with whatever you've...
[grunts] Got so far.
- Right.
[rumbling] - [groans]
Damn it!
- Artie, are those shelves still unstable
From the quakes last week?
- Yeah, annoyingly so.
- And you are fixing them with a black light?
- What? No, no.
This is jerry garcia's black light.
It's for Claudia's birthday party.
It enhances visuals of any artwork
That it shines on.
- Ah, you're still throwing the party.
- Yes.
And your input on the event is still not required.
- I don't know.
21 is a really big deal, Artie.
It's a--it's a huge birthday.
- Trust me, I know Claudia,
And I've planned the perfect party.
- Well, that's what I'm worried about.
- I happen to have a great surprise lined up.
- Please tell me it's not a clown.
- You know what?
Just solve the case.
Come back in time for the party,
And I'll call you if I find anything.
All right.
Just-- [rumbling]
[shimmering tone]
Ugh.
[shimmering tone]
[beethoven's symphony no. 9 in d-major, second movement]
- So there's a u.S. Marshal here now.
- Great.
- I'm sure he'll be telling his guys to...
[Southern accent] Search every gas station,
Residence, Warehouse, outhouse, and doghouse.
- You forgot "henhouse."
- Ah, nice catch, marshal.
- I watch it at least once a year.
- [chuckles] uh, mykes, this is, uh,
Liam napier, u.S. Marshal.
- Myka Bering, secret service.
- Warden says all the inmates
Who were in the yard are accounted for.
- Really?
- Hey.
- He's--he's with us. That's, um...
- Jersey. - "jersey"?
- Marshal.
- Wow. Dude, long time.
Well, what's the a.T.F. Doing here?
- We're working with the secret service
To track an incendiary device.
- What the hell kind of incendiary device
Makes molten lava?
- Well, that's what we're here to figure out.
Listen, we've got this under control.
I'm sure you've got other places to be.
So we will call you if a prisoner shows up missing.
- Well, now wait a minute.
The warden said that everyone was accounted for out here,
But what about in the main building?
- We don't know yet.
They needed all hands on deck during the crisis,
So they just shut the main building down.
They're still counting.
- So everyone's focus was out here.
And with everyone's eyes on the front door...
- It would make it a lot easier
For someone to sneak out the back.
Maybe this wasn't the actual prison break.
- It was a diversion.
- I'll order a full sweep and get a head count
Of all the inmates,
Get 'em going on that "henhouse" thing.
- I love that guy.
- [chuckles] yeah.
- [sighs] okay.
[sighs]
[electricity crackles]
[psychedelic music plays]
♪
Yes! [laughs]
[music stops] This is great.
Okay.
- What are you doing there? - What? Nothing!
Don't you have a guitar lesson?
- That was over, like, an hour ago.
You probably lost track of time 'cause you were too busy
Turning the solarium into a funeral home for deadheads.
- What? Oh, no, there's nothing.
There's nothing going on in there.
- Yeah, the problem with hiding things behind glass doors
Is you can see through them.
- All right.
It's for your birthday party. You're welcome.
- What? - Yeah, and I--
Yeah, I have all the great rock bands on vinyl.
One of the few older technologies
That your generation still actually respects.
Plus, I have a very, very special,
Special surprise guest.
- Tell me it's not a clown.
- Let's just get one thing straight.
Clowns happen to serve a very important
Psychological and socioreligious function
In society since 2400 b.C.
- Artie, Artie, Artie... [chuckles]
Tha--thank you for this.
- Oh, come on.
- Really, it's--
I just already made plans to go get beers with steve.
- No, you can't just go to a bar.
- According to the state of south dakota,
At midnight, I can.
- No, no, no. It's not that.
Just--can't you stay home?
- Artie, when you met me, I was a kid.
I'm an adult now.
- [shushes] you know,
Age has nothing to do with adulthood.
Look at Pete. - [scoffs] okay.
- Look-- - You always do this.
- I'm not just an old man who knows nothing!
- You act like I can't make my own decisions.
You know, how many times
Have I actually saved the world at this point?
- All right, you know what? Just--enough!
Look, if we're gonna have this argument,
At least just turn off the music
So we can have the argument properly.
- What music?
- Ah, just because it's beethoven's first symphony
Does not mean it's not music.
And adults listen to classical music.
- Artie... There's no music.
[beethoven's symphony no. 1 in c-major]
♪
[music stops] - Okay, see, that's not good.
Beethoven's clock.
- That definitely looks like an escape route--
I'm guessing made by an artifact.
- While everybody else was busy in the yard,
Two convicts disappeared.
Jonesy, put out an a.P.B. On two fugitives--
Joe barton and rick davis.
I want wheels on the road and eyes on the dirt.
If it's orange and moves, I want to know.
- Copy, marshal.
- This hole was made from the outside,
Just like the one in the yard.
And this? It's volcanic ash.
- All right, well, it looks like barton and davis
Have someone on the outside...
Someone with an artifact.
[tires screech] - Unh!
[both panting]
Ha!
[muffled moans]
Damn, I've waited so long for that.
That's not griff. - No, that's barton.
He's gonna make sure that we can afford that vacation we wanted.
Where's the thing?
So this is the magic bottle, huh?
- [gasps] don't open it.
That stuff melted through those prison walls like nothing.
- Imagine what it could do to a bank vault...
Or anybody that gets in our way.
- Davis is a member of the third street turks--
A crew deep into armed robbery and narcotics.
Another turk in his block is this upstanding gentleman--
Adam griff.
Their last project together landed them here
In our lovely hillbilly spa and resort.
- What about joe barton?
- Bad man--
Armed robbery, assault, attempted murder.
A former turk, but after a messy falling out,
They parted ways.
- So davis escaped with a deserter
And not his fellow turk, griff.
It doesn't add up.
- Or maybe barton was trying to get back in.
- I'm having mr. Griff brought up.
He should have been here by now.
- You know, someone should keep an eye on our marshal.
- Pete. Pete should stick with him.
- Dude, what is wrong with you?
Is there something about that guy you don't like?
- No! No, no, no, no. It's just that he's--
You know, and, you know, we don't really--
- Oh, my god. He's your ex.
- He is?
He is. yeah, he is!
- I don't think that that's relevant.
- Dude, why didn't you say so?
- Because being stuck on a case
With a guy that dumped me is not a dream assignment.
In fact, I think I've had this exact nightmare before.
- Okay, wait a minute. He dumped you?
Why would anyone do that? I mean, look at you--
Looks, brains, good taste,
A deep knowledge of guns and blowing things up.
What's not to love? - Do you need us to hate him?
Because we can hate him. - No, no, no, no.
Look, look, liam-- he's not a bad guy.
What happened between us, it wasn't his fault, and...
And I'd really rather talk about this
At another time that's not now.
Maybe we can talk about it when I'm dead.
- Okay.
Right? Right. I will shadow liam.
- Okay, we're gonna go toss barton and davis's cells,
Far away from mr. Hunky ex.
- He's not that hunky. - Oh, he's hunky, okay?
He's me.
I knew I was your type.
- Can this get any worse? [sighs]
- A.T.F. And secret service seem like an odd mix.
You work with steve long?
- I know what you're doing.
You're digging for intel on steve, so...
- Caught me. I'm sneaky that way.
I just want to know how he's doing.
It's been a while, and we don't exactly skype every night.
- Well, you should have thought of that before you dumped him.
- Right. I dumped him.
My bad.
- It's a big mistake.
It's huge...For you.
It's great for steve.
He goes out a lot, you know?
A lot, a lot, a lot of dating.
Oh, yeah, we call him "social steve."
- Steve Jinks, right?
- Well, I guess you never really knew steve.
- Guess not.
He did tell me about one guy, though.
What's the name of the guy
That he just started dating last week?
Oh, come on, you know the guy's name.
Steve just told me about him.
It's okay.
Honestly, I'm glad he has friends that stick up for him.
- You sure you got time for this?
I heard you got two cons on the run.
- Play nice, griff.
Secret service here has got a few questions for you.
- So barton leaves your crew,
And davis still breaks him out.
Why?
- No idea. Can I go now?
- Seems like everybody kissed and made up.
Did the turks finally learn how to forgive and forget?
- Yeah, right.
Barton would be dead if he didn't have--
- If he didn't have something that you wanted?
- Information? No.
You'd just kill him.
Money.
He's got some of your stolen cash,
And now you're groveling at his feet to get it.
- Hey... Nobody takes our money.
- So this is about money.
But it's not your money.
So barton's trying to--to buy his way back in
With his own stolen loot.
- He's gonna show davis where it is.
- Davis was supposed to take you, wasn't he?
- But you got dropped at the last minute
For barton's big bag of money.
- I don't got to tell you nothing.
- Maybe we should ask some of the other turks in the prison.
- Well, that's a great idea. We could--
We could tell them everything that griff here told us,
And they could just fill in the blanks.
- I didn't tell you anything.
- They'd probably be very interested to know
How helpful griff was.
- I didn't help you. You guessed.
- I would probably leave that part out.
I'm very forgetful that way.
- Yeah?
Well, then I'll tell 'em the truth.
- You've been here talking to us.
Who do you think they'll believe?
- Look, just tell us where barton and davis are going.
We'll forget this little conversation ever happened.
- So... [sighs]
This stuff with liam-- that must suck, huh?
Yeah, I remember when amanda and I split up.
Oh, that was-- that was tough stuff, man.
You know? - Uh-huh.
- I mean, I guess what I'm trying to say is I can relate.
I mean, sure, amanda and I had a chance
To put things to rest, and now we have a newer...
Slightly weirder relationship.
Maybe this is just a chance for you to make amends.
- You really want to talk about this?
- I know.
Doesn't sound like me, does it?
Well, I've been getting in touch with my sensitive side.
Knock knock, steve.
I'm home.
- The thing is, I thought that liam was...
You know, the one.
- Been there, man. Been there.
- And then he started lying. - Right.
Well, you're definitely not the guy to lie to.
Heck, I got to look away every time
You ask me for a piece of gum and I only have three left.
Jinksy.
[grunts] - What are you doing?
- Looking for a tunnel.
Haven't you ever seen shawshank?
- Hey, hey, check this out.
"hey, babe, I can't wait to see you
So we can be together forever."
Davis had a girlfriend-- uh, uh, anna.
She might be the accomplice.
- It's possible.
Oh, listen to this one. "hey, babe.
"the east sees you rise above the walls around my heart...
"surrounded...
"slumbering in the cellar at noon
"away from the midnight moon.
Mournful monday, awake with thee."
See, steve, poetry sucks 'cause it doesn't make any sense.
- No, no, no, no. She's--
She's trying to hide something.
- So what? You think it's a code?
- Yeah, we need to figure out the cipher.
Uh, transposition-- move each letter
To the next one in the alphabet.
- "u-I-f-f-b-t-u."
Sounds klingon.
- No. - No?
- No. - Okay, uh, I don't know.
So, what, do we rearrange the sentences?
- "sees surrounded around the east"?
- Wait, wait, wait, wait. Flag on the play.
Look at these.
They look like they're framing the words.
Hold on, man.
Prisons don't censor with x-acto knives.
- "east, wall, cellar, noon, monday."
- Now that's a poem I can understand.
- All right.
Present from a piano teacher to young ludwig--
"a clock of most exquisite decor."
- Well, wait. Our clock doesn't have a bust.
See? - Uh-huh, yeah.
- So that's why we couldn't neutralize it.
We have to goo the other half. - Yes.
All we have to do is find it anywhere on the planet earth.
- Well, allow me to show you how I can be hip enough
To hang ten on the web, yet adult enough
To not need a clown.
Yeah, got it.
Age hasn't slowed me down a bit.
- Brava. That was fast.
- Yeah, I used a web crawler to index sites
With the recently updated keyword "bust"
And then, after remembering to turn safe search back on,
Cross-referenced with the image of the clock,
Like you taught me, sensei,
Only a little more 2013 than 1979.
- 1979!
The year emmett kelly died-- famous clown.
So where are we going?
- Just donated to a gallery called art of the bay.
- "art of the bay."
Art of the bay. Art of the bay. Art of the bay. Art of the bay!
We're going to boston. - Excellent.
We'll snag the artifact, stop the "tuneage,"
And you'll still have time to show me
Where you threw the first crate of tea into the harbor.
- Good one! I didn't see that coming.
You little--ah! [Beethoven's 3rd Symphony]
It changed again.
- To what? News and weather?
- No! Beethoven's 3rd!
It's going through all the opuses.
Got to find it fast. It's getting louder!
- Yeah, we got to find it fast.
♪
- Well, it looks like griff was right.
With all this falling ash,
They must be around here somewhere.
Wait. There it is.
- That's the bag griff was talking about.
They left the cash.
- Looks like it's been raining lava.
There's a cell phone.
Liam, a truck.
[guns cock]
- She's trapped.
Might be the accomplice.
- This must be davis.
- Door is welded shut with lava.
This is more than just an incendiary device, isn't it?
[Farnsworth buzzes]
- Uh... I have to take this call,
So you should probably go help that poor woman in the truck.
Okay.
[Farnsworth continues buzzing]
- Turns out davis had a pen pal.
She might have the artifact.
- Yeah, we found her.
And we found davis too.
He's dead. - Uh, what about barton?
- Well, he probably took off with the artifact.
But, Pete, the weird thing is, is that he left the cash here.
- So, if he's not after the money, then what is it?
- No idea, but, Pete, he has no problem
Using this artifact to kill.
- Rick got the money, and...
He was gonna kill barton.
Said he didn't need him anymore.
There was a fight.
Barton got the bottle, and...
Oh, he buried him in lava.
- The bottle? What bottle?
- This old copper jug.
It belonged to my nana paccia.
She just passed.
I got all of her junk from italy.
- So where is barton now?
- He grabbed my phone and locked me in the truck.
I don't know where he went after that.
I swear-- - Is this your phone?
- It's got to be the copper jug, right?
I mean, from italy, shoots lava.
- They've definitely had their share of volcanoes.
- Okay, the most recent call was to a paulie's diner.
- Barton made it.
It's a 24-hour diner on the edge of town.
The turks hang out their.
[sirens wailing]
- Barton obviously has an agenda.
- Yeah, taking out turks.
- What the hell can do this to a guy?
- Uh...
- Hey, liam, can you give us a sec?
- Sure.
Secret service-- emphasis on the "secret."
Fine.
- Okay, so the bottle's from italy, right?
Maybe, uh, pompeii.
An entire city destroyed at once--
Pretty powerful, right? - Yeah, fear, sadness, loss--
All those emotions flying around.
Sounds like artifact-y circumstances.
- Right.
So it's like a lava flamethrower.
You just point it, and it burns through.
- You point it at a person, it does this.
- So you recognize him?
- Yeah, that's the guy asking everybody about chris.
- Okay, chris-- who's chris?
- No idea. I've been here over a year.
We don't have any chrises.
So he heads right in there into the kitchen
To talk to paulie.
I heard some yelling, and then he was heading out again.
And that's when tattoo over there saw him.
- Okay, so they knew each other?
- I guess so. I mean, they got into an argument,
Tattoo pulls out a knife,
And I'm not dummy-- I got out.
- Next thing you know, tattoo's covered in molten lava?
- Yeah.
How the heck does that-- - Global warming.
Thanks for your help.
Don't forget to recycle.
It looks like this guy chris is barton's next target.
- Well, then we need to get that--
- Can I talk to you a sec?
- Excuse me.
- Look, I'm trying to catch a fugitive,
And I can't do that if I don't know what I'm dealing with.
- I told you-- incendiary device.
- Y-yes, an incendiary device that drowns people in lava.
Nothing in the world does that.
- Well, there's a lot more in the world than you think.
- Cryptic. Helpful.
Are we working together on this or not?
- Liam, things would be a lot easier for both of us
If you weren't here.
- Speak for yourself, steve.
[cell phone rings]
Well, good luck with your top-secret
National security spy versus spy.
- Where are you going?
- My people, who share information with me, by the way,
Just located the crew's safe house.
I think I might go catch a fugitive.
- You have to go after him.
- No, no.
My personal stuff cannot get in the way of this job.
- Agreed, but if he finds barton,
He'll find the artifact.
You know him best. Stick with him.
Pete and I are gonna try and track down this chris guy.
- Yeah, but I don't--
- Look, dude, there's baggage, okay?
I get it, but for now, we're stuck with your ex,
And you know him better than any of us.
I mean, clearly, he's not going anywhere.
And if find that artifact without us...
It's gonna be a lot more difficult to explain.
- And it could kill him.
- All right, the coast is clear. - Good.
Wouldn't want to be caught breaking into a charity.
That'd really hurt my street cred.
- What?
- Nothing. Joking.
How loud's that music? - It's so loud!
I've got beethoven's 8th going on now,
Which is highly overrated.
It's making me a little irritable.
- What's your usual excuse?
- You just made a joke about that, didn't you?
- No, I didn't. - [laughing] yeah.
We good?
[alarm blaring] - Artie, wait!
I think the-- - Let's go!
- An alarm system--
- Well, why didn't you do that first?
- Oh, this is my fault. - This is all your fault.
Where is it? - Get--on the--
Yeah. - Ah!
[alarm stops blaring] - Just like in the movies.
- Yeah, this is cutting it a little too close.
The music is drowning out all other sound, and...
I got to-- I think I should just go.
- You should-- wait, wait. What now?
- No, I'm a liability. You're--you can finish up.
I'll wait in the car.
No, you're doing fine.
I'm the one who's almost getting us caught.
And this isn't slowing us up at all.
Yeah, that's not even remotely funny.
- It's a little funny.
- According to the photo on the web...
It should be right here.
- Things are missing.
So...
I'm looking for... - Manifest!
- Yeah. Okay, manifest.
Bronze statue, $490--no.
Oil painting, fruit, $375--no.
Marble aphrodite, $85?
- They must not have known who it belonged to.
- Yeah. The buyer--
Mrs. Viola adams from beacon park music academy.
Her address is...
[beethoven's piano concerto no. 5]
- Artie, what's wrong? Are you okay?
- Beethoven's piano concerto no. 5!
Why has it switched to the concertos?
Unless...
- What? Unless what?
- Uh, no. 5 was beethoven's last public appearance,
'cause after that...
He went deaf.
- Thank you.
Pete, I think I figured out why--
Really?
- Well, it was just sitting there.
- I think I figured out why nobody knows a guy named chris.
- What's up?
- Well, there was this waitress. She used to work here.
She quit around a year ago
The same time that barton was arrested.
Here name was christina robertson.
- Okay. Let's go.
[knock at door] - Coming!
Coming.
- Hi, chris.
It's been a while.
- Look, I let you join me here.
Are we gonna talk about this or what?
- I'm not here to talk about my feelings.
- That brings back memories.
Okay, so you're just gonna follow me around
In case I find out what's actually going on, is that it?
- There are things that I can't tell you.
I'm trying to protect you. - Right.
That must be why you told your pals that I dumped you.
- [chuckles]
We're trailing a fugitive. We're really gonna do this now?
- Why not? We never actually did it.
- You know, why don't we just check on the game?
The entune has all the latest scores.
- Steve, you never even said good-bye.
You just left--gone.
- Okay, fine. Then let's break up now.
You lied to me constantly.
- You're a human lie detector! And it was not constantly.
Yes, sometimes I lied.
You really want the truth all the time?
Okay, the only thing you can cook is lasagna,
And even that sort of sucks.
That tea you drink smells like cat pee,
And skinny jeans do not look good on you.
Like that? - Yes, yes, it's a start.
- Oh, come on! Nobody wants that much truth!
I just--
I just wanted you to like me.
- I loved you!
- Yeah. We had plenty of "love," but not much "like"--
Different thing.
And I wanted to like you, but you made that so hard.
I felt like you were constantly on the lookout.
It was terrifying.
I was always scared I'd screw up, and...
That made me screw up even more.
- Look, I am sorry, okay?
I hate that I can tell,
And I hate that I care so much.
But this is who I am.
The thing is...
If I can't make it work with you, if I couldn't...
Then I can't make it work with anyone.
I'll just have to make my peace with that.
[knock at door]
- Chris robertson?
- Yeah.
Um, but I'm on my way out.
- We have reason to believe you might be in danger.
May we come in?
- Um, sure.
- Thanks.
So you're not part of the crew.
- No, I don't want anything to do that life or those people.
- Then why is barton after you?
- I told you--I don't know anyone named barton.
- Pete...
Volcanic ash.
Why are you lying to us?
- This is the safe house?
- You were expecting beachfront?
- Looks like we're too late.
- Yeah, somebody tossed this place.
Barton's definitely been here.
- Times, dates-- could be a delivery schedule.
But deliveries of what?
- There's a missing page.
- Lyon armored car.
- This is a pickup schedule.
The next pickup's in a mall parking garage
About five miles from here in 30 minutes.
- So barton didn't hurt you.
That's a first.
Did he, uh-- did he threaten you?
- Is there someone else you're trying to protect...
Like your son maybe?
- I don't have a son.
- Look, chris, I was a teenager once.
The dirty clothes, the heavy metal--
It's all part of the package.
- How long has your son been running with the turks?
- You know, he's targeting the turks.
Your son could be in real danger.
- Is that it?
Did--did barton come here looking
For your son so--so he could hurt him?
- Look, chris, you need to talk to us,
'cause we can find barton and stop him.
We won't let him hurt your son, but you have to coop--
- Stop. You don't understand, okay?
He would never hurt kyle.
- Mykes, that's why the money was left at the lake.
This isn't about money. It's about kyle.
- Yes.
- Barton is kyle's father, isn't he?
- He's trying to save him.
- Inside every box, some new piece of crap.
My aunt collects a lot of crap.
I'm trying to get her on that show--
You know, the one people collect the crap?
- hoarders?
- Yeah.
They pay a lot? I like money.
- No.
Uh, this particular piece of crap is sentimental.
It's not worth anything at all, trust me.
- So, um, you guys are going through a lot of trouble
For something that's just crap.
- Well, you're not the only one with a crazy aunt.
- Yeah, well, I'm gonna dump these,
And I'll be right back.
- Oh, we haven't checked that box yet.
- Hey!
Artie!
Hey! Bluto's getting away!
He's heading upstairs!
[classical music blaring] - Aah! Aah!
[music stops] Artie, are you okay?
[music continues]
[high-pitched tone] [inaudible]
- Claudia, I'm--I'm deaf.
- Don't worry.
Stay.
Give it up, chum. It's over.
- Okay.
I'm sorry. I just--
I thought maybe this thing could pay
For the surgery my aunt needs.
She's got a bad heart,
And, uh, she's really old.
- Ah!
Yeah! No mercy!
[winces] Ah.
- Pete and Myka are on their way.
- We'll wait for their backup.
- This is it, kid-- graduation.
Then you're part of the family, right?
- That must be barton's son.
- Now waste this rent-a-cop punk.
- We can't let this happen.
- Let's go.
- Hold it.
- [whispering] whoa, whoa.
- Barton!
Where's davis?
- Dead.
I'd rather not kill you, too, but I will.
I'm taking my kid.
- Are you trying to be a dad all a sudden?
- I came here to protect you.
- These guys protect me.
They look out for me. They're here for me.
- Look at me.
I won't let you make the same mistakes that I did.
You don't want to go to jail... Or worse.
- That's touching, barton.
But you should know by now that no one leaves the crew.
- Freeze! United states marshal!
Guns down!
- You brought the cops, barton? That was stupid.
- Bye, kyle. - Kyle!
Ah!
- [screaming]
- Dad! - Go!
That bullet was meant for you, kyle.
Trust me, these people are not your friends.
They're not your family.
[grunts] - Dad!
Help! Help! Someone get us out of here!
- We have to bag that bottle.
- Before barton and kyle get roasted.
- Liam!
Get to high ground!
- Get out of here before the lava traps you.
I can get out over there. I'm good. Go!
[tire pops loudly]
- What are you gonna do, little man?
- And this... Is for my ankle!
All right.
[high-pitched tone] [inaudible]
[high-pitched tone]
Yeah? - I can hear.
- Yeah? - I can hear everything!
- [moaning in pain] - I can hear you moaning.
Oh, my god, you're moaning. - Yeah.
- Oh, sorry. - Yeah, it's all right.
My ankle's killing me. - Well, Claudia...
You know what'll make you feel really good right now...
Is a clown.
[horn honking]
- Who knew a prius was so badass?
- Well, I couldn't leave without saying good-bye.
You'd never let me hear the end of it.
- I bet you're gonna miss getting all those scores.
You still expect me to believe
This is just an incendiary device?
[tire pops loudly]
Here's a shot in the dark.
You work for a secret organization
That collects supernatural objects
And locks them away to protect mankind.
- Why does everyone want to talk today?
[tire pops loudly]
Come on!
- Is your life always this crazy?
- It's about right for a monday.
- Mykes...
- Wait. You're not thinking
What I think you're thinking, are you?
- I never think that far ahead.
Look, don't blame me if you get swallowed up by lava.
- Totally blaming you.
- Dad! - [gasps]
- Hold my legs. - All right.
- Okay.
Okay. [breathing heavily]
Ah!
- Aah!
- We have got to stop cutting these things so close.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
[indistinct chatter]
- Oh, honey, you should go talk to him.
- What am I supposed to say?
Before this, he was just some--some guy in jail.
- He's your dad.
He loves you.
- Look, I-I don't know, kyle, but he did--
He did take a bullet for you, right?
I mean, I think that rates a good-bye.
Don't you?
Risking everything to put you on the right path--
I think it's worth getting to know him,
Even if it's just on visiting days.
Trust me, kid. I know about these things.
Grab the chance while you still got him.
Well... [sighs]
Local p.D. Is rounding up the turks.
The marshal got his man. We got our thingy.
I'd say, all in all, it's a pretty good day.
- I talked to Artie.
The bottle is called, uh, an amphora,
And it belonged to a merchant from pompeii
Who survived vesuvius.
You're not listening to a word that I'm saying, are you?
- I really like liam, mykes.
You know, I sure hope those two crazy kids can work it out.
[chuckles] what do you think they're talking about, huh--
Guns, manhunts...
Gladiator movies?
- So, about that ridiculous theory...
- Don't worry. I'll keep your secret.
Anybody asks, you work for the a.T.F.
- Thanks.
You know, you knew there was no way off that car.
You just didn't want me to risk anything.
- As it turns out, I'm starting to think
Sometimes it's a really good thing
You can tell when people are lying.
- Thank you.
Turns out I'd rather not know
That you think my favorite tea smells like cat urine, so...
- See?
And by the way, nobody looks good in skinny jeans.
- You're lying again.
- Okay, fine. Bradley cooper.
- [laughing] - You're relentless.
- [sighs]
I'm sorry, liam.
I'm really terrible at good-byes.
- Well, jersey, I'm just glad we had a chance to do it right.
[pop music playing on radio]
♪
[music stops]
- [exhales sharply] much better color.
[indistinct chatter]
- Okay, I am willing to admit that one or two of the posters
Will actually look good in my room.
Okay, all of them! [laughter]
- Artie kind of nailed it. - Yeah, he did.
- Happy birthday, claud.
- I heard all about you and your little adventure, sir.
You run into you ex-boyfriend, and you don't text me?
Oh, bad, bad gay bestie.
- I brought you a present. - [gasps]
Forgiven! I still want dirt, though.
Do I get to meet him? Are you back together?
Details, repercussions.
- There's no dirt.
Uh, we--we--we said good-bye, and that's it.
- Really? That's it?
- It was a really good good-bye.
- Hey-oh! - Steve!
Oh, my god, you slept with him!
- Can we please not--
- Oh, yeah!
The gay me is as much of a player as the straight me.
- [laughing] is there a difference?
- Ms. Donovan!
May I ask you to direct your attention to the stage?
- Please, just no clown.
- I can't believe I'm saying this out loud,
But, ladies and gents,
Please welcome the runaways' cherie currie!
[cheers and applause]
- [laughing]
How did you do this?
- I hear there's a birthday girl in the crowd tonight.
Claudia, you want to come up join me up here?
[cheers and applause]
[acoustic guitar strumming]
♪
- ♪ can't stay at home, can't stay in school ♪
- ♪ old folks say, "you poor little fool" ♪
- ♪ down the street, I'm the girl next door ♪
- ♪ I'm the fox you've been waiting for ♪
- ♪ hello, daddy
- ♪ hello, mom
Both: ♪ I'm your ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch ♪
♪ cherry bomb
- ♪ hello, world, I'm your wild girl ♪
Both: ♪ I'm your ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch ♪
♪ cherry bomb
- Artimus! How do you know cherie currie?
- I...
Saved her life back in '79.
- What?
- Yes. You know her song secrets?
It's a little homage to our adventure.
- Whoa!
You, sir, are an onion of mystery.
- You have no idea.
Both: ♪ I'm your ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch ♪
♪ cherry bomb
- ♪ oh
- [moaning]
- ♪ hey, street boy
♪ you want some style?
- ♪ your dead-end dreams don't make you smile ♪
- ♪ she'll give you something to live for ♪
Both: ♪ have you, grab you till you're sore ♪
- ♪ hello, daddy
Both: ♪ hello, mom
♪ I'm your ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch
♪ cherry bomb
♪ hello, world, I'm your wild girl ♪
♪ I'm your ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch
♪ cherry bomb
- Whoo! Both: ♪ cherry bomb
♪ cherry bomb
[cheers and applause]